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User blog:Leolab/User Siege Tourney, Round 21 of 63: Drayco90 (Austonio) v Leolab (Lloyd)
Austonio Machete Michelangelo Rasputin Elder III, Esquire, Practicing Wizard at Law: The batshit insane general Attacking Lloyd Kumar: The mercenary Great Captain from India Prologue Austonio lounged in his library chair, cackling and holding his cat. Lloyd looked up in irritation. "Is there anything you actually want, or do you just want to annoy me?" "Annoy you? But I consider you one of my friends!" Austonio's overly-gleeful demeanor lent a hint of menace to that phrase. He was certainly not someone most would like to be friends with. Especially not if they had fire. Or bees. "You... what?" "YES! You remind me of my old friend, Jordanio Georgio Machete Michel... Michelo... something... something... FIRE!" "I see..." "Yes... yes... we had a beautiful friendship. I stabbed him in the eye, and Nicholas feasted on him. Until I burned him, of course. Nicholas was so upset that I burned his food, he sulked for days... and then ran to me when the bees came." "I... um..." You're up. And try not to let Austonio get under your skin. He's quite amusing. And he's up, too, so you can torture him however you like. Leo said My host is as mad as Austonio. Wonderful. Now that's hardly fair. He sounded almost insulted. Attacker Symbol = |-| General = Ranged Weapon- Hat-Based Flamethrower Polearm- Guan Dao Main Melee- Shortsword Off-Hand- Flail Single Combat is accepted. |-| Army = Tactics- After the odd circumstances that lead to his being put into power, Drayco has proceded to thoroughly confuse his foes by...having about as much clue about what he is doing as anyone else does, IE none. His seemingly random and completely batshit tactics leave enemeis confused, disoriented and make him near impossible to predict or react to...but it's hardly an efficient tactic. How he's won anything is anyone's guess. Attacking 3,000 Swordsmen, full iron armor with no helmets or shoes. We couldn't afford another 6,000 shoes. 3,000 Bowmen, carry a quiver of 40 traditional arrow and 10 arrows made to be lit on fire as flaming arrows, wear leather armor with large cloth cloaks that allow for blending into folliage, and can easily be brushed off in emergancy. 1,000 Horseback Pikemen. Wear light leather armor and skull-caps. 1,000 Horseback Archers, carrying a larger quiver strapped to horse's sides with 80 traditional arrows and 20 arrows meant for fire. Wear light armor with a basic helmet. 5 Battering Rams, no crew. They're there to strike fear into the enemies hearts. Because they're all painted and shizz. Spooky paint. 5 Trebuches, manned by 10 men each and firing chunks of rock and debris. Some of the projectiles can be lit on fire just before firing for fire damage. Naturally, this is used more often than it isn't. Defender Symbol = |-| General = *Weapons: **Long Range: Composite Recurve Bow with poisoned armor-piercing arrows **Polearm: Halberd (axe head opposite a slotted dismounting hook; shaft ends in a pike). **Main-hand: Talwar **Off-hand: short axe (2 ft handle) *Armor: Riveted Plated Mail Will accept Single Combat requests if losing or confident of a win in combat; will not accept if the enemy is nearly routed. |-| Army = Defending Siege Countermeasures *All units wear riveted plated mail. *4 Scorpion Ballistae firing steel bolts, Greek Fire jar tipped bolts, disease jar tipped bolts, or heads impaled on wooden stakes **4 men per Ballista **Secondary weapons: Pata-style Shortsword and Jamadhar-style Katar. *4 Greek Fire throwing teams (in jars) **3 men per team **Secondary weapons:Pata-style Shortsword and Jamadhar-style Katar. *2 15-inch Canons firing Grapeshot, iron balls, Canister Shot, or bits of scrap metal. **4 people per cannon **Secondary weapons: Aspis and Xyston *2 Farming units **30 people per unit **Secondary weapons: Pata-style Shortsword and Jamadhar-style Katar. Infantry *Organized into brigades of 2500 men, then into divisions of 500, then squads of 20. *5000 Infantrymen wearing riveted plated mail & Barbute **Specialized weapon: short spear & buckler **Secondary Weapon: axe and buckler *250 squad leaders wearing laminar over leather & Barbute **Specialized weapon: short Axe and spiked, plated Targe **Secondary weapon: Swordbreaker and spiked, plated targe *10 division leaders wearing lamellar over chainmail **Specialized weapon: Swordbreaker and buckler **Secondary Weapon: Broadsword and Buckler *2 brigade leaders wearing Chihal'Ta Hazar Masha (Coat of 10,000 Nails) over leather & Barbute **Specialized Weapon: Broadsword and Dagger **Secondary Weapon: Kopis and Dagger *1 overall leader wearing a metal breastplate over plated chainmail and Barbute **Specialized weapon: Kopis & plated targe **Secondary weapon: short spear & plated targe Support *4 Wall Marshals wearing full Karuta armour with Zunari Kabuto **Specialized weapon: Wakizashi (carries four or five) **Secondary Weapon: Kozuka *Reserve; Organized into divisions of 500 men, further divided into squads with 20 men each. **1000 Reserve Members wearing Chihal'Ta Hazar Masha (Coat of 10,000 Nails) & Barbute ***Specialized weapon: Kilij and Buckler ***Secondary Weapon: Swordbreaker and buckler **50 squad leaders wearing Chihal'Ta Hazar Masha (Coat of 10,000 Nails) & Bascinet ***Specialized weapon: Swordbreaker & Buckler ***Secondary weapon: Axe and Buckler **2 Division Leaders wearing Chihal'Ta Hazar Masha (Coat of 10,000 Nails) with Burgonet ***Specialized Weapon: Axe and Buckler ***Secondary Weapon: Rapier and Buckler **1 Overall Leader wearing Chihal'Ta Hazar Masha (Coat of 10,000 Nails) with ornate Burgonet ***Specialized Weapon: Rapier and Khanjar ***Secondary Weapon: Kilij and Khanjar *869 workers making materials for coutermeasures **Secondary weapon: Pata and Buckler Crossbowmen *Organized into squads of 20 men each, 10 men and 10 loaders. *100 Crossbowmen wearing Riveted plated mail & Barbute: **Specialized Weapon: Arbalest Crossbow **Secondary Weapon: Axe and Buckler *100 Loaders wearing Riveted plated mail & Barbute: **Specialized Weapon: Arbalest Crossbow **Secondary Weapon: Axe and Buckler *10 Squad Commanders wearing Laminar Armor & Barbute: **Specialized Weapon: Arbalest Crossbow **Secondary Weapon: Spatha and Buckler *1 Crossbow Commander wearing Riveted Plated Chainmail: **Specialized Weapon: Arbalest Crossbow **Secondary Weapon: Khanjar and Buckler Tactics *Harrass attackers with Crossbow Volleys *Attempt precision attacks on command center(s) with Scorpion *Use Greek Fire arrows at night to throw camps into chaos **Try to target cooks, supplies, medical tents, etc. *When POWs or enemy dead are captured, send heads back on bolts after interrogation interspersed with diseased bolts *Wall Marshals are given command of each wall *Have Greek Fire jar throwers hit battering rams, belfries, enemies, etc. *Canons are used during massed attacks *Also used during breakthroughs to make halls a killing field *Stringent anti-infiltration measures. *All orders are written in code. Redundant messengers are used to ensure order reaches the officers. X-Factors These X-Factors are created by taking averages from the X-Factor evaluation blog, rounded to the nearest number. I did not choose them. There is no bias. Victory Conditions Attacker= *Overrun castle *Force defender to surrender *Win Single Combat |-| Defender= *Force attacker to surrender *Annihilate attacker *Survive for 4 months *Win Single Combat |-|Tie= *One side meets the victory conditions but loses their general *Both sides lose their general. Notes Battle = *Any siege weapons without a crew cannot be used *Area is as follows: **A square, stone fort with a tower at each corner and one in the center. It is on a hill, but has no other natural barriers. Castle is 100 m x 100 m x 125 m. Towers have a 10 m radius and are 150 m tall. The fighting is mostly close-quarters in small areas within the castle. |-|Voting = In order for a vote to count as full, it must contain an analysis of the victory or tie conditions and which - if any - the armies can meet. A paragraph or two with at least 10 relevant sentences can be substituted for a full vote. A paragraph or two with 5 relevant sentences will count as a half vote. All others will not count. |-| General's Kit = *Includes: **A telescope / looking glass for his personal use and others for the commanders **Several maps of the area **Locations of friendly supply lines **Various support personnel: a quartermaster corps, cooking corps, medical corps, and religious services Battle 0 Months, 0 Days, 18 Hours. Austonio prances about, cackling as he has the camp move into a formation he had thought of a few minutes ago. Cackling and stroking his cat, he spots someone moving too slowly. He prances towards them, maniacal smile growing wider with each step. The man looks up and sees him, pure terror in his eyes. Having Austonio coming towards you smiling is rarely a good thing. Austonio cackles, and activates his flamethrower while doing a pirouette. His unfortunate subordinate was roasted, along with some of his other men unlucky enough to be nearby. Austonio strolled back to his tent; since there was fire, there might be bees following soon. And Nicholas hates bees. “You may want to see this, General,” one of Lloyd’s troops says, “Austonio’s doing something odd with his camp.” “Is he now? Well, let’s go see it then.” Lloyd and the messenger walk through the fort and head up to one of the tower’s battlements, where one of his wall Marshalls and a Scorpion team was stationed; one of the chaplains was also there, attending to some prayer or another. He peered out on to the battlefield, and turned back, bemused. “It’s exactly as you’re seeing it, sir. I was confused at first, too, but there’s no mistaking it.” “This takes overcompensating to a whole new level.” Lloyd looked back out at his foes below. They were arrayed in a formation resembling a gigantic, anatomically correct phallus. Even the tent colors were matched. He saw a procession start to ride through the tent-formed urethra, and raised his spyglass to get a better look. It was a group of cavalry, wearing armor painted all white. Lloyd sighed; his enemy was far more juvenile than the deserters led him to believe. Well, let’s fight fire with fire. “He’s already insane,” Lloyd says, “So let’s give him a burning bush to talk to.” “Um... sir?” His ballistamen and the Wall Marshall were trying their hardest not to laugh. The chaplain’s jaw had dropped to the floor, looking so horrified that Lloyd had to give him his best evil smile. “Use the Greek Fire bolts. Target the balls. That’s an order.” “Yes, sir.” Austonio was walking outside his tent; his foes had fired something that lit his formation on fire. He had also only targeted one section, the one that took the most organizing and the most liberal use of fire to get set up. “Oh, this won’t do at all,” he says to the flames, “I’m the one who uses FIRE!!” Drayco lets off a fit of cackling; when it dies down, he turns to address the burning camp again. “Well, the least you could do is send some bees after him. But not me, no not the bees.” He waits for a while, then turns away. He reaches up on his head to stroke Nicholas as he walks back to his tent, muttering under his breath. 1 Month, 5 Days, 16 Hours. Austonio cackles madly. The camp is shifting and moving again at his whim. There are people missing, so their grand formation wouldn’t be as big as last time, but it will still be big enough. Smiling, he strolls over to where he’d left Nicholas, only to find that he’d run off. Cackling and turning to the soldier he had set to guard him, he activates his flamethrower and burns him alive. He starts to prance about his moving camp, trying to use his flamethrower to flush out his cat. Lloyd walks up one of the castle’s towers once again. Apparently Austonio had finally gotten his forces together to make a new formation. He reaches the top of the battlements and peers out. “Really? This again?” Once again, his foe’s forces were spread out before him in the shape of a phallus. It was significantly smaller than the last one, since the fires had killed off those men which hadn’t turned on their commander, but it was still the same. “Burn it all off, this time. He’s insane, but that does not mean he will be forgiven for being unoriginal” “Will do, Sir.” “Thanks.” Austonio prancs near the edge of his camp. Once again, his enemies had used fire against him. Fire! That is his weapon, and no one else’s! Outraged, Austonio turns to see a bear charging him, with Nicholas on its head. He turns further to it and smiles, seeing his beloved pet return. The bear doesn’t stop. Frantic, Austonio reaches for his flamethrower hat, but the bear rears up and mauls him into the fire before he can do a thing. Lloyd looks out through a spyglass at the carnage. The enemy’s camp is in flames, just as ordered. He sweeps the spyglass to one side, and sees the oddest thing: a cat riding on a bear’s head. “If I weren’t seeing this myself I’d call it contrived bullshit,” he mutters, watching as the bear mauls one of the men into the fire. A brief flash of light returns both generals to the waiting room. End of Siege Statistics *Total Time: 1 Month, 0 Days, 15 Hours, 5 Minutes *Total Losses: 10,011 **Austonio: 10,001 **Lloyd: 10 Category:Blog posts